Author Archives: Garnet David

Incandescent Nectar

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Incandescent Nectar of Life,
conscious of Itself through our senses,
breathing our breath; and which,
with our caring awareness of one another,
breathes Life full with Love.

Here only, forever Now is,
which, breaking with by and by
becomes again the Full Emptiness,
where the billows of ruminating Dust
show in relief the shadow of Time,
and a brief glimpse
through Fate’s curtain
into who we are.

This sums up my mystical take on life. It’s a “glimpse” of where we came from, where we are, and where we’re going.

This poem is also featured on my new Zaadz profile: GarnetDavid. Stop by and say hello. Peace.

Babbling Drops

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Rain plunks babbling drops on the skylight glass above…
                 Xylophonic riffs
                         ( jazzy counterpoints of
                         clustered rhythms)
                ebb and roll
                singing a sweet, wet, tinkling blues.

Shiny, chartreuse oak leaves
born just days ago
                glow
                glisten
                joyfully jiggling under the gurgling drizzle.

Spring froths forth, foaming green.
My eyes limp across this languid scene.
The dripping tunes, tipping drooping leaves
become my only need.

I’m a little late with this poem, which was written in late Spring. I tried to imitate the rhythms of the dripping drops in the poem.

The Nothingness of Everything

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Turning, Not Turning
I like asking paradoxical rhetorical questions. Sometimes just asking them gives insight to the unanswerable ones. I like pondering extremes, ultimates. It gives me perspective. I feel more able to handle the little ups and downs in my life.

These questions are not new. They are certainly influenced by Lao Tzu.

How can we know anything until we know nothing? Do you think it’s possible to know nothing? How can you know it if it is nothing? Is “anything” better known if seen with the awareness of its opposite, nothingness? Nothingness is like the star you can only see if you look slightly away from it. It’s only there in absence of everything else. In the above illusion, the wheels turn where you do not look.

Somehow everything, anything, has a little more presence, aura, after a little absurd discussion about nothing. The presence of life is more poignant when seen in the shadow of nothingness. We all get caught up in the drama of our lives, and we often forget the void which gives everything perspective. We forget the soothing comfort of knowing we are timeless, that we were always here, that we will always be here, even when our bodies go back to the earth. We forget the freedom that affords us, the fearlessness it affords us.

In the rare moments when I feel completely (in Krishnamurti’s words) “free of the known”, I am most capable of making decisions, solving problems, attending duties. I am capable of throwing myself into life, filling it up.

For the next few weeks, I plan to ponder the nothingness of my blog, experience its absence, to see what it really is. (we’ll see how long it lasts!)

Taboo Sex as Mythic Fuel

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Continuing my explorations of gay spirit through my own experience, I want to elaborate gently on the idea of difference, taboo, and androgyny as tools for healing. I often ponder why I am gay. As my mother once aptly noted, “It can’t be an easy life for you.”

In our world, with it’s focus on material existence, especially the materialism of thought, we are unbalanced in favor of control. Many folks enjoy this kind of energy, they thrive on it. They can stay in control without any apparent stress. My hat’s off to them. I don’t feel that way. Perhaps they don’t either, underneath.

In response to power and control, I find the opposite more fulfilling: to acquiesce, relinquish power, envelop strength with its opposite. I’m here to show a different view, to break down “normal” patterns, to balance the majority with spiritual and cultural difference, drawn from my taboo life. If I see myself in terms of society’s norms, I fail to awaken something essential in me. If I let go, give into the direction my sexuality takes me, forge my own path, I find I have power in my faerie spirit, a perspective few see.

Something in me tells me I need to explore the taboo in myself, and by reflection, in society. My sexuality is not just who I’m attracted to, but how I’m attracted to them. I feel a latent androgyny in my body, an ecstasy of opening rather than entering. (see Faerie Spirit) I sense in myself a burgeoning of confidence and power based on this opening, soft, letting, allowing spirit. It seems right. It connects me to something deep and rich which I barely recognize. I am also terrified of it, and lonely. I am unsure if this is an aberration of human nature, or a gift to it, or just a benign personal choice. I like to think there’s a mythical, healing reason.

I am drawn to very abstract explanations of why I exist, what my purpose is. (Existentialism worked for me when I was young, but leaves me cold now) I think it’s vital to human existence to acknowledge the need for myth. Whether we think so or not, we are constantly affected by the myth making power of popular culture. We are inundated. Perhaps that is sufficient to sustain the majority, but I feel deeply drawn to something more internal, something pure, consistent, universal.

Some find this in religion. I seek a unique spirituality to incorporate my unique sexuality. I look for timeless patterns and myths within my sexuality. And I am finding, or maybe even creating those myths by exploring the taboo ecstasy of my body. Perhaps I am here as a gay man to demystify and mythologize taboo, not only sexually, but throughout culture.

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