Category Archives: Social Culture

Culture, social interests, people, behavior.

Emptiness

Posted on by

Nothing in my mind but drivel. It’s too humid to think.

The trip to Bethesda, MD was a success. Sonya and Mom bonded nicely. From what Mom said in her update since I left yesterday, they’re better off without me there. Sonya’s original devotion to me was interfering with her getting to know Mom. Sonya is a pretty amazing little dog. At one point I took her out alone to do her duty, and she just stood there staring into my eyes for the longest time. She never flinched, just waited and watched. Very intense little creature.

I am outraged by most of what I see and hear in the news these days. I’ve always hated politics, but now I feel obligated to inform and defend myself. I think Carl Rove is evil. I think the Supreme Court should be fired. I think Bush should be impeached. Facts no longer matter. Truth is whoever speaks the loudest. Religion is a weapon. The holy wars are beginning. Sounds like a story line from Dune.

I want to go to a remote Greek island with beautiful men, aquamarine water, a diet of fruits and veggies, where I can space out, worship the sun and feel the timeless rhythms of the sea.

Hemmed in Freedom

Posted on by

I’ve been blogging about three months now, since the middle of March. I’m feeling trapped, like I’ve cornered myself in some abstract corner, in an attempt to present something “high quality” rather than ruminate freely as in a semi-formal journal, which was my original intent.

Part of the problem is that I wonder if people enjoy reading what I write. Yes, I want to journalize, but I also want to write something worth reading. But that can also hamper freedom. Just as I wrote in this post about performing live, if a performance is too planned, it can become superficial, hollow. Ironically, it is a challenge to be focused and free at the same time, to structure free expression, hone it, tailor it, hem it in, without stifling it. How do I find the rhythm of my soul, that elusive vibration, to express here on these pages, without smothering it in trying?

Funny thing is, now that I’m commenting more on other blogs, I’m actually finding my ruminating “voice” there instead of here. And I love how the comments are commented by the original author. So some interesting strings develop with that interaction. All this is new to me. New and rewarding.

So, in the spirit of free flow expression, forgive me if I blab a bit, but I need to unclog the pipes, get the fresher juices flowing.

I’ve been under a lot of stress recently. I am not very skilled at managing multiple stresses. My job as a performer is difficult enough, but I have been on this search committee for a new music director here, and I have been put somewhat unwittingly in a hot seat. What I thought would be an artistic search turned into an arena of political struggle from within the orchestra. I became a representative of one of the sides. I am not a political person, but I have to stand for something. So I knew I had to follow through. I did my best. The power struggle arose in the form of certain candidates being strongly supported by one faction and other candidates by another faction. I braced for a draining struggle. Luckily, the situation became a lot easier for me when a late candidate demonstrated such powerful charisma and quality in his conducting that the orchestra was unified behind him.

But the problem still exists, in the form of resistance from non musician members of the search committee. They claim he will be hard to sell, he will have trouble raising money for the orchestra, that he cannot just be a good conductor. You see, the unifying candidate is Japanese, and is not fluent in English. But he gets his point across fine, and knows how to work a crowd, has a sense of humor, and communicates magnificently through his music making.

Now here’s the part that’s going to make you guffaw. Those members who are opposed to this candidate have not even seen or met him. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is what I’m up against. If these people had been on the committees of the New York Philharmonic, they would have eliminated Leonard Bernstein before they even met him because they heard he was gay. Or the Boston Symphony would not have hired Seigi Ozawa because of his English. How absurd! It doesn’t matter if the conductor is a genius, if he will do great things for the orchestra, if ALL the musicians are united behind him (which is a miracle in itself). Never mind that the political rift in the orchestra could be healed. No, those are irrelevant details. No, despite never having set eyes on this person, never having heard his music making, never having heard his cute, charming sense of humor, no, these dissenters just KNOW he won’t work, period. Pre-judging. Prejudiced.

So we have to wait until we can see him again for those presumptuous dissenters to decide. I’m all for having them visit with him. But I fear nothing will change a mind so closed.

It’s disheartening to see things like this. I guess it’s just part of the “real” world. I haven’t given up. I plan to work on those members, trying gently to show them what the musicians have seen, hopefully using non-confrontational approaches. If I believe in what I am supporting. Hopefully, using my strong belief in the positive effects this candidate can have, I can sway them. That’s a lot of hope!

In all cases; in performance, in blogging, in politics, it’s a fine line, a razor’s edge, which offers quality freedom. Freedom without limitations is basically chaos, anarchy, a dream. The opposite is a stifling prison, communism, fear, living death. The middle road is hemmed in freedom; freedom within one’s given situation, goodness within anarchy, structure within chaos, creation from destruction, hope within fear.

Memorialize them with the Truth

Posted on by

There is no greater insult to the memories of our nation’s heros than to wonder if they fought and died in vain. Their willingness to give their lives, their future, their entire existence, is the greatest act of heroism. Their dutiful adherence to the chain of command is unwavering. I salute their bravery and thank them from my heart.

But if the war’s purpose is only to prove and demonstrate the power and oil interests of those who initiated the war, we need to know the truth. If the war was started to intimidate unruly nations and prove who’s in charge, our faithful defenders deserve to know the truth. If the war was started without solid evidence and just cause for it’s purpose, my anger turns to rage. Even if the political spin put on the Iraq war has some valid tone to it, the truth is, those kids didn’t have to die. Yes, Hussein was a despicable dictator. That’s not reason enough for the astronomical cost and countless lives lost.

When I see signs in my neighbors yards which seem to shout “SUPPORT OUR TROOPS”, I think, yes, let’s support them, let’s find out the truth. Let’s give them justice and truth. Let’s bring them home. It’s the least we can do for our heroes.

Demand the truth about the Downing Street Memo.
Please sign the peitition HERE

Hot Blair Memo

Posted on by

In case you haven’t heard yet, a British memo containing incriminating evidence against the Bush administration’s Iraq war was leaked a few weeks ago. It’s barely been covered by US media, probably because they’re intimidated by right wing pundits who rage against anything that’s not heavily right sided. The memo reports on a visit to Washington by the head of British intelligence.

It indicates the Bush administration decided in July, 2002 to overthrow Saddam Hussein and was determined to ensure the evidence supported those goals. In order to ensure the needed war, “the intelligence and evidence are being fixed around that policy”. Yes, you read that right. Remember, this was while the Bush administration still denied any intent to invade Iraq. Though the evidence was “thin” supporting Weapons of Mass Destruction, the administration was determined to “fix the evidence” to pursue that course. Isn’t that called lying? Haven’t thousands of Americans died for that lie? Aren’t we going to impeach him???

Blair has not denied the authenticity and veracity of the memo, and the Bush administration will not comment. Yet. You know what that means… “please make it go away, please please”. Of course, the cowed US media will stay cowed, and our mendacious administration will be emboldened to further destroy American credibility. But hey, all in a days work.

Apparently, several Democratic Congressmen are going to Britain to investigate Blair about all this. Umm, hello???

What the F— is going on here? It’s amazing this has failed to reach a mass American audience. I had no idea our “free” press was so hog tied. It’s pretty frightening, to be honest.

If you want to do something about this please go to http://downingstreetmemo.com/. It’s a quick, clear explanation of what this means and what you can do. Please, please spread this around. Copy the link and post it, or send it to friends. Unless you don’t mind living in a theocratic police state in the near future…

The full memo can be found here. A recent summary with lots of links can be seen here. The investigation by senior Democrats is described here.A candid in depth description of the complex issues involved can be found here.

Technorati Tags ,

Soul Stew

Posted on by

Gospel Music. Now that’s religion with some meat on it. Not the mamby pamby nicey nicey incense sleepy music of white religion. This stirs the pot, gets the blood pumping down to your toes, gets your goose bumps popping, blows your hair back, lifts the roof right off you! I can see heaven, I can feel it, thumping in my chest, ringing in my ears, rattling my teeth. Let it all out. You’re safe. Let God hear you cry out to him in joy, in awe, in trust, cry out in passion, cry out in pain. It’s OK. You’re safe. It even got my mamby pamby white soul bouncing and smiling and clapping. There’s no choice, not any more than fighting a river you’ve been thrown in. It flows and you flow with it. Or you sit it out, numb, lost, fuming at what you’re missing.

I played a concert earlier tonight, with the Columbus Gospel Choir. Once a year we do Gospel Meets Symphony. We’ve done it the past six years. It’s always fun, but often a little amateurish. This time they had a reputable soloist, Reverend Richard Smallwood. And an experienced gospel conductor and arranger, Darin Atwater. It was well organized, high quality.

The choir was fantastic. All local folks. Unbelievable power, for 150 people. It’s all inclusive, made up of any race, and any church, all gospel. They wore all different color and pattern shawls symbolizing the melting pot of soul. Divine Diversity. (That’s also a song they sing at the end of every show.)

Some songs were done without orchestra, so I could watch. The choirs own conductor stepped up, a large, wide, bookish looking woman with a huge gap between her front teeth. Not glamorous. And she would raise her arms in a commanding gesture, hands out stretched. She had your attention. Even I would sit up. Her face took over your concentration, saying “Go with me.” She conducted with huge, powerful swings and jabs and gesticulations, in exact time with the words and song. She knew every rhythm, every word, every breath of the songs. She was in complete control. No questions. (I’m glad I’m not her husband.) But it was a joyous spirit that moved her, so she was intoxicating to watch.

Even they were engaging to watch, with arching, meaningful motions in their whole body, head, arms and hands, signing and emoting the music silently. Someone hearing impaired would certainly feel the thumping air, see the fervent bodies, rise with that spirit.

There were several good soloists chosen from the choir. Even a white girl, who roused the crowd with her fervor. But the main attraction was Richard Smallwood, a big time gospel circuit singer. He worked the crowd to a tizzy, turned them on, dangled them by his strings. At one point, at the end of a song, the choir and audience went nuts. They wouldn’t stop clapping and stomping in a fantastically fast rhythm, alternating clapping off beats and stomping. And the drummer egged them on when they started to flag. He’d wind them back up like a toy doll. The building shook. The mood had a force of it’s own, inevitable. This went on for 10 minutes. I sat right in front of the choir. I turned around to watch them from my seat in the orchestra, and they were enraptured, gyrating, pulsing, like a huge pot of bubbling stew, rupturing forth spirit like steam. Joyous Steam.

It’s going to be hard to go back to a white meat, cold cut, bread and butter life tomorrow.