Category Archives: Gay Spirit

The many colors of being gay.

Sexy Straight Men

Posted on by

Straight men need to learn to relax and enjoy being thought sexy by other men. They need to open up to a very healing energy. Both parties benefit.

I really don’t see why most American straight men get so uptight when complimented on their sexiness by gay men. If I smile at a good looking man on the street, it’s a gift to him, whether he’s gay or straight. Unfortunately, most men will interpret a smile as a sexual advance, and head it off by looking away or frowning, or worse.

In Europe it’s not so bad. Most men there are more confident in their sexual skins and are not threatened by a look or a smile of all things. Any sexual tension which arises from the impossibility of returning that attraction is defused by simple acceptance. If the situation escalates, a man only has to say, “Thanks, I’m not interested.” Done with a flattered smile, it’s a harmless way to sever the misunderstanding. Most men would quickly move on. It happens all the time between straight folks.

If I think someone is sexy, and show it in my eyes, or perhaps by glancing at their body, they see it as a threat. It’s taken as an invasion of their personal space, a sexual advance. What if those same men were to just enjoy the advantage the attention gives them? What if they just soaked it up and basked in it? I think everyone wins. I’m given an affirmation, an acknowledgment of the beauty that I see in someone else, and the other man reaps positive energy from my attention.

I would never, for example, frown at or fear the attraction of a woman to me. I’m delighted for the attention. Bring it on. Tell me more!

Faced with the praise of attraction from another man, most men should be truly flattered. After all, gay men usually have pretty good taste in men!

The Source

Posted on by

i bend
to stretch
tight hamstrings,
yoga breathing
deep, cored
waves, committed.
your hand floats
above my
naked globules,
glowing
unsunned white,
pressing humid air
to your palm’s stare.
the blond hairs bristle
with electric city
conversations
beginnings, endings, poems,
stormy at first,
stirring down to1880 logcabin
laps of gentle
consent, warmth,
and finally
desire for connection,
fuel of transference.

my breathing deepens,
windy, pomegranate scented
rings to be
shared, anointed.
we weave stringed loops
into cat’s cradles,
bridges across
desserts of thirst.
thirsty creeks
flow into
larger and more
insistent undertows.
rushing
crashing, breaths
draw you into
me, down to bone, to
implacable source.
message to
answer to message.
your gift to
my givance.
our river, our odyssey.

salvaging divine
beads of innocence,
we sew sumptuous hoops of
priapic demons,
ecstatic circles of fire.
we join hollow desire
with its own lava.
Niagara falls, deafening,
roars savage
as fused water and earth,
slag over waterfall
into the Great River,
steamy transformance-
peak emergence
in the curtain dance.
original signals of
original redemption
bring us to
a hidden palace,
guarded by fear, whose
barbed gates
open into
a garden of grace.

Taboo Sex as Mythic Fuel

Posted on by

Continuing my explorations of gay spirit through my own experience, I want to elaborate gently on the idea of difference, taboo, and androgyny as tools for healing. I often ponder why I am gay. As my mother once aptly noted, “It can’t be an easy life for you.”

In our world, with it’s focus on material existence, especially the materialism of thought, we are unbalanced in favor of control. Many folks enjoy this kind of energy, they thrive on it. They can stay in control without any apparent stress. My hat’s off to them. I don’t feel that way. Perhaps they don’t either, underneath.

In response to power and control, I find the opposite more fulfilling: to acquiesce, relinquish power, envelop strength with its opposite. I’m here to show a different view, to break down “normal” patterns, to balance the majority with spiritual and cultural difference, drawn from my taboo life. If I see myself in terms of society’s norms, I fail to awaken something essential in me. If I let go, give into the direction my sexuality takes me, forge my own path, I find I have power in my faerie spirit, a perspective few see.

Something in me tells me I need to explore the taboo in myself, and by reflection, in society. My sexuality is not just who I’m attracted to, but how I’m attracted to them. I feel a latent androgyny in my body, an ecstasy of opening rather than entering. (see Faerie Spirit) I sense in myself a burgeoning of confidence and power based on this opening, soft, letting, allowing spirit. It seems right. It connects me to something deep and rich which I barely recognize. I am also terrified of it, and lonely. I am unsure if this is an aberration of human nature, or a gift to it, or just a benign personal choice. I like to think there’s a mythical, healing reason.

I am drawn to very abstract explanations of why I exist, what my purpose is. (Existentialism worked for me when I was young, but leaves me cold now) I think it’s vital to human existence to acknowledge the need for myth. Whether we think so or not, we are constantly affected by the myth making power of popular culture. We are inundated. Perhaps that is sufficient to sustain the majority, but I feel deeply drawn to something more internal, something pure, consistent, universal.

Some find this in religion. I seek a unique spirituality to incorporate my unique sexuality. I look for timeless patterns and myths within my sexuality. And I am finding, or maybe even creating those myths by exploring the taboo ecstasy of my body. Perhaps I am here as a gay man to demystify and mythologize taboo, not only sexually, but throughout culture.

Technorati Tags: , , , .

Radical Faerie Definition

Posted on by

First a little post script to yesterdays July 4th post- Add to the list of glowing experiences of that day: eating a quarter watermelon, dribbling juice down my chin, slurping loudly, and: a stunning firefly display in the fields and trees while walking home from the fireworks. I’ve never seen fireflies so prolific. And they were richly concentrated in a few trees and fields, as if attending huge all night dance parties. What a magical day!
————
What and who are the Radical Faeries?

I found a succinct explanation of Radical Faeries while browsing some Faerie web pages. This description is by Cyrwyn, who has written quite a bit on the subject.

Faeries are strange creatures of magical powers and wisdom. Radical Faeries are a loose subset of primarily gay men whose origins were in the 1960’s counter-culture. The archaic spelling refers to the Land of Faerie where the mythical Faeries lived. It was a taking back of a derogatory name that gay men had been called and turning it into a name of identity and power. An almost anarchic sense of freedom and earth-centered spiritualities characterize their beliefs and behaviors. Faeries see themselves as gentle, loving men, nature lovers, healers, shamans, pagans, feminists, fun-lovers, seekers of a wholistic way of life. They believe that our society is unbalanced, too masculine oriented, thus authoritarian, bigoted, violent and warlike. So they work to balance the masculine and feminine within themselves toward an androgynous state of being. They often worship the Goddess, the Earth Mother, instead of the patriarchal God, to restore that balance.

Faeries come from all walks of life. They often have gatherings at sanctuaries, primitive campgrounds in rural areas. Consensus rules at these gatherings. There is no structured political organization or movement. For the most part, individual freedom takes precedence.

This is a little more succinct than my post a few days ago. But it says many of the same things. I believe there is a subtle quality, a spiritual and natural reason for gays in our society. They are not just accidents, detours, dead ends. If respected as a culture, by themselves and others, they can fill gaps in the masculine/feminine dichotomy.

Faerie Spirit

Posted on by

This is the beginning of some ruminations on Faerie Spirit. I don’t feel like composing a finished article, so I’ll just throw out some ideas as they come. These generalizations and perceptions are my personal observations. Ongoing…and perhaps a bit rambling. I’ll also link to other writings on the subject as I find them.

Faerie spirit describes the unique healing attitudes and skills of many gay men. But most of them are unaware of their abilities as healers and seers. They are too caught up in the gay subculture, which mainly tries to fit in, or react to, straight society. Either way, much of gay culture is “dependent” on straight culture to survive. Gay culture struggles with all its energy against straight culture. It often has little of its own tradition or mythology to pass on. And so the spirit is wasted in the paradigm of ageism and sex culture. There’s no room for depth.

Don’t get me wrong. Gay culture has influenced straight culture plenty. The open appreciation of male beauty in every facet of culture is a gift of gay culture. Men are more aware of their beauty, which makes them, well, even more beautiful. Beauty is a feminine quality, and it’s healthy for American men to develop it. Gay culture has influenced most pop culture, and style culture. These are valid but limited contributions. Their real spirit is often repressed.

Most people have some healing abilities. Women (feminine, nurturing, opening) tend to have more healing talent than men. Men (masculine, building, entering) are generally about action, accomplishment, change. Everyone has a balance of Yin and Yang energy. Usually one is favored. Straight men are more masculine, but can have quite a bit of feminine. Straight women may have the opposite balance.

Gay men tend to have a more equal balance of these opposing/balancing energies. This gives them an ability to sense and express energy in ways not available to non gays. I see the two energies as two lenses, the masculine and the feminine, each with it’s own power, and those who have a balance see things in stereo. Or, they could be like two healing stones, which when rubbed together in one person, creates a warm healing energy by the friction.

I’m not saying every gay man is healing and every straight man is not. No, no, no. I’m just saying the ones who have that skill are barely acknowledged, where they should be raised to a position of influence and respect in our community. They are here to heal and should be encouraged.

But that’s not the case. After thirty, most gay men are barely noticed, unless they work their asses off to stay buff. They have to conform to the beauty culture to be respected. The real healers may not compete well in this brutal, judgemental culture. As they mature, they may be ignored, outcast. And their talent goes unused.

I remember one man who I met at a support group. I could see his psychic ability, but he barely functioned in the group, at least around me. I felt he thought I dismissed him, but I was just a bit thick skinned, the way I always am around other gay men, mostly to protect myself from their judgment. I’ll judge you before you judge me, that’s our motto. Not a happy culture. Gay, not happy, sexual, not loving, trendy, not healing. So he and I never connected. Too bad. And part of it was my lack of empathy. My defenses and his defenses.

What are these healing powers I keep referring to? Seers, touch healers, sex healers, mystics, anyone with a valid message to offer the rest of us, whether physical or emotional or political or cultural or spiritual. I’ll try to be more specific as I think of examples. (later)

I sense my un-developed ability. I can see into people, see their weakness, their wounds, and how to nurture them. But I have no training, no mentor, no path, to show me how to focus this crude ability. I know it’s there, but my ego, my fears, my conformity blocks me. Part of the reason for this blog is to explore some of this stuff, in myself and in others.

Technorati Tags , ,