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Category Archives: Fun Stuff
Clear Conscience
In a funny and preceptive (and provocative) NYT editorial last week called “Penguin Family Values”, the writer quotes a few lines from the poem “In Praise of Feeling Bad About Yourself”, by Wislawa Szymborska.
A jackal doesn’t understand remorse.
Lions and lice don’t waver in their course.
Why should they, when they know they’re right?On this third planet of the sun,
among the signs of bestiality
A clear conscience is Number One.
Ouch! What a sharp blade and steady aim! Can we clone these guys? Make a few million and infiltrate them throughout the media industry? Ann Coultier, may I serve you a helping of guilt to nourish your starving soul?
Great Comments 1, Melly’s Day
Melly at All Kinds of Writing decided to take the plunge and posted this playful comment by Josh to a post called How Does the Singularity Affect Writers.
I have a friend who is a physicist. We have discussions.
Him: “If you think 4 dimensions is hard, try eleven.”
Me: “Ahh, but what is a dimension, outside of something we as humans have invented as a benchmark of perception?”
Him: “Now you’re just being difficult.”
Me: “Ahh, but what is difficulty?”
Him: “Get out of my house, you metaphysical titwomp.”
Where is Bill Clinton when we need him? “That depends on what the meaning of titwomp is.” I bet Bill knows.
Ok kids, the waters fine. Who’s next?
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Funny test answers5
Real answers…
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
Funny test answers4
Actual answers, as is, from history tests and in Sunday school quizzes, by 5th and 6th grade kids, in Ohio.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out “Same to you, Brutus.”
Joan of Arc was brunt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don’t really understand. The English and French still have problems.
Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen”. As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.