Great Comments Day 4, Jennifer

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Jennifer at Architect by Day, Writer by Night offers up a smorgasbord of comments, revealing some interesting detail. All that we know of what the comments refered to was the phrase “Skinny the narrative and fatten the dialog”. Can you tell she’s an architect? 🙂

Melly exposed her love of detailed descriptions, pointing to their transforming power.

She also includes a fun comment by hippopotomonstrosesquipidelian whose name alone is enough bait to check out the commenter’s site.

I think my favorite is the one by Liz. Where does she come up with that dialog? Hmm? Very revealing, Liz. Tell us more. What does Jone do? Does she make eye contact? Does her hand bring the wine to her lips? Rattles around in your head for awhile.

I was reading through Pat Walsh’s “The First Five Pages” the past few weeks, and she has a section on dialog. Let’s just say fatten the WELL-WRITTEN dialog.:) Dialog is a great way to “show” rather than “tell” the reader what is happening. Some of P. Walsh’s examples were just deadly:

Hello Jone, I see you are wearing a wedding ring and have long hair. You are drinking red wine from a long stemmed crystal glass. Would you care for another from the long marble bar to the left of us?

Your listening to real dialog means that this has to be painful (and at the same time unimaginable) to read. But there you have I’ll right with you on well-written dialog. That’s my bit for the discussion.

Liz, do you know how many z’s I now type a day?

PS it has been revealed by secret sources that Liz was raised by the Glittering Commentari. No wonder she’s so cool.

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2 thoughts on “Great Comments Day 4, Jennifer”

  1. To set the record straight. I had it wrong. I was reading two books at the time. Pat Walsh wrote “78 Reason Why Your Book May Never Be Published,” and Noah Lukeman wrote “The First Five Pages.”

    Thanks you Jennifer and Garnet. And yes I was raised by the Commerati–Carmelina, Angelo, and Pasquale.

  2. But it’s still unknown as to whether it was Don or Donna Pasquale. I’d go for Donna. Because there was a Donna Pasquale who owned a champagne vignard near the Spanish border. But she was Norwegan, which explains a lot.

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