The Write Way

I like to play with words, especially bad puns. But I’ve never been good at writing cohesive thoughts. Ideas come fitfully and are often clumped in numb knots, which take patience to unravel, or disappear before I grasp them. Sometimes words or phrases show up unbidden, as if to say, “here I am, where do you want me”.

I begin again with this plea for patience from anyone who reads this. I think I write here to practice writing, to carve an opinion out of words, to whittle away the drivel. But maybe it’s really to find myself, to use a well worn cliche. Constructive feedback of all sorts is welcome. Really, it is. If you think something is too vague, or pointless, let me know. (especially in my poems) I believe focused writing is focused thinking. I want to learn (or find myself) the “write way”.

Green Eyed Lady has indulged me generously with her comments. Thank you, GEL. Your perceptions have helped me dissect some of my entries.

I recently got off an anti-depressant I’ve been on for years. It’s more of a change than I thought. I feel more focused, though less able to sleep through the night. But I feel less creative. That surprised me. Good news is I’m not depressed, just more aware of my feelings. I don’t have much to say right now, but I’m sure that won’t last. My brain is probably still trying to balance after another shift in chemicals. Watch out, here I come.

This morning I got my first hate comment, on yesterday’s post, Emptiness. It was a laughable bit of rhetoric, but clearly intended to offend. I was about to delete it, when a response to it came in from Weez. So I dug in and backed her with my own retort. It was fun.

Along a different tangent, here is a proposal to claim some of Justice Souter’s land for a hotel. (in response to his decision to allow eminent domain foreclosures on private land in a recent Supreme Court decision)

Emptiness

Nothing in my mind but drivel. It’s too humid to think.

The trip to Bethesda, MD was a success. Sonya and Mom bonded nicely. From what Mom said in her update since I left yesterday, they’re better off without me there. Sonya’s original devotion to me was interfering with her getting to know Mom. Sonya is a pretty amazing little dog. At one point I took her out alone to do her duty, and she just stood there staring into my eyes for the longest time. She never flinched, just waited and watched. Very intense little creature.

I am outraged by most of what I see and hear in the news these days. I’ve always hated politics, but now I feel obligated to inform and defend myself. I think Carl Rove is evil. I think the Supreme Court should be fired. I think Bush should be impeached. Facts no longer matter. Truth is whoever speaks the loudest. Religion is a weapon. The holy wars are beginning. Sounds like a story line from Dune.

I want to go to a remote Greek island with beautiful men, aquamarine water, a diet of fruits and veggies, where I can space out, worship the sun and feel the timeless rhythms of the sea.

Ache for Numbness

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I ache for numbness;
then miss another, deeper aching
for beauty…poetry,
challenge and responsibility.
I want a nice, cozy cell, from which to desire escape.
My irony surrounds and defines me,
shows me freedom.

This is another very old journal entry

Beauty Shared

Since I’m out of town a few days I dug up these little thoughts to post. This is a journal entry from 15 years ago. Fragments for comment.

The experience of beauty shared is a sculpture carved out of the breath we all share. Meaning is created from trust between people, not be each, alone.