Glittering Muse » Gay Spirit

A Republican Mayor, Jerry Sanders, votes for Gay Marriage

Garnet David — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:11:09 +0000

San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders explains his eleventh hour switch in deciding to sign a city resolution legitimizing full marriage rights for Gays in San Diego.

He explains with great emotion that civil unions are not an acceptable alternative, because they are a “separate but equal” right. US history has shown that those kinds of compromises are not up to the standards of the US Constitution.

Mayor Sanders’ almost embarrassing emotion betrays his deeply felt conviction in making this decision. Sanders states he followed his heart in this choice. He will undoubtedly suffer serious political consequences from the far Right for this decision. However, he may also be heralded as a leader of a broader movement supporting equal rights for all proud American citizens who wish to commit to a life together in marriage.

Separate is not Equal

Garnet David — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 15:27:28 +0000

This note is from a 23 year old nephew of a friend of mine. He just moved to San Francisco from Maine to allow him to find himself. He is gay and out and as you will see from this note, very outspoken. I reprint this here because it reminds me of myself when I was a lot younger. I believe youth can teach us a lot. In this case, I am reminded that I have grown accustomed to being bland (“balanced and fair”) about the issue of marriage rights for our gay population. Marriage must be allowed between ANY TWO HUMAN BEINGS WHO LOVE EACH OTHER AND ARE COMMITTED TO THAT LOVE FOR LIFE.

I want you to take a moment and listen to something very basic I don’t believe most people understand….

As I watched the debate last night the only thing both candidates agreed upon (except unconditional support of Israel, which of course is because otherwise they would have no financial backing for their campaigns) is an agreement on the definition of marriage being between a man and a women.

The core issue here is not gay rights, or the rights to see sick loved ones when in hospital, or be beneficiaries of marriage in a way most people understand. Marriage is an institution sanctioned by the government heterosexual people can enter into as an expression of commitment, love, and a common understanding excepted by society.

It has been shown through SUPREME COURT RULINGS separate is not equal. If you agree that a different water fountain for blacks, regardless if it still provides water to people, is a fair ruling than you won’t understand the issue. If you agree that separate schools for non-whites, even with the same books and materials, is a noble idea, than you miss the point. If you think we should again segregate buses and living spaces and create all together different institutions in society for each group of people then yes, gays should not get married. IF YOU ARE A BACKWARDS, MISINFORMED, IGNORANT PERSON who does not realize the way forward is for constant reevaluation of the standards in which we live and how we treat our neighbors, nurses, the teacher that teach our children, and our families, than you agree that a “union” or a “contract” is fair. How is separate but equal fair???

All I ask is when this topic is brought up, DON’T SAY “WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO IS THEIR BUSINESS”, DON’T BE PASSIVE ABOUT THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE ISSUE. THE RIGHT FOR HOMOSEXUALS TO MARRY IS THE SAME RIGHT AS NON-WHITES HAVE TO ATTEND PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, FOR THE BLACK KID IN THE HALLWAY TO SIP FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN, AND FOR ALL OF YOU TO LIVE AS EQUALS IN A FAIR AND JUST SOCIETY.

If GOD is your reasoning, let him judge for himself on an individual basis, don’t force feed me your religion through public policy!

ITS SICKENING!

Thanks for reading, it means a lot.
Mark

Being Gay and Being Good

Garnet David — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 23:35:48 +0000

Joel Osteen, author of the bestselling Become a Better You, says being gay is “not God’s best”. Oh darn, I didn’t make the cut!

I say I’m exactly the way I should be. Perhaps in a world where role models for being gay were encouraged rather than the demonized, gays might have a better chance of adjusting to the often ridiculous and narrow strictures of “straight” society, with its questionable moral rectitude and double standards.

Better yet, perhaps God is hinting to straight society that a better model is among them and they should wake up and pay attention. After all, since gay culture has seeped into straight life, especially through fashion, manners, taste and style, haven’t God’s ideals for a better “man” been upgraded?

What’s your take?

Dirty Enlightenment and Pesto

Garnet David — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 05:14:10 +0000

A few months ago I saw a tiny article in the local paper about dirt. Apparently, studies suggest a little grime might keep you healthy. Sewer rats showed more vigorous immune systems than their clean, lab rat counterparts. I knew there was a good reason I don’t clean my house! (much)

But, seriously… Yes, I always get serious. Must be my Welsh genes. They even have a word for it over there, Hiraeth, an ineffable yearning, a longing for something, a perennial vision of a golden age at once lost and never found. Poetry and music are highly valued and practiced throughout all Welsh culture. Poetry contests are common, and everyone sings in a choir.

Since I plan to submit my blog to 9rules round 5, I thought I’d say a little bit about my goals in life and dirt and pesto.

So, what are my goals in life? That’s easy: to fulfill my greatest potential as a human being, to fill my life with as much goodness, beauty, growth and love as I can. Well that’s a tall order, but then again, hiraeth is in my blood.

The problem is, my potential and my yearnings come in a few thousand colors, sizes and smells. And I flourish on any of them equally. But I’ve found that living in the present potentially connects me to all of them, one at a time.

For example, tonight I threw the last of the wilting Basil leaves from the summer garden into the food processor, along with tons of fresh garlic, olive oil, fresh grated Parmesan cheese and pine nuts. The smell was heavenly, so vivid, pungent, flowery, a slap of anise from the basil. Summer images flooded my mind. The sweet slow rhythms and lower stress, sultry air, lazy afternoons, mint juleps, fresh veggies, long talks with friends in the garden with background music by crickets. Extroverted. Now that Fall has moved in and Winter encroaches, my mood changes. The dreams turn to love and eye contact, hugs and cuddling by the fire, reading, and lots of staring out the window dreaming, planning for the garden in Spring. Inroverted. The smell of that pesto became a poetic link to meaning in that moment, giving depth to the experience.

Why all this rambling babble? Well, the kitchen was a mess after making the Basil pesto, but my life was richer for it. Now for another digression.

One thing I am keenly aware of is that I am finite physically, but I live infinitely in each moment. (think of standing on a mountain top and feeling the sky infinite above and the mountain infinite, sort of, below, yet you are not moving) We can only process one moment at a time. That’s the key. Once we understand that, the rich fragrance of the pesto takes us to who we need to be right then.

The smells, tastes, sights, sounds, the poetry, music, art, the love and sadness and joy of living, these are infinite possibilities in each moment we live. To experience each with infinite depth and height and breadth is the goal. Pure presence. The next moment will never be the same. Never. That pesto smell is gone now. I can eat it tomorrow, (or perhaps after I write this, since it seems to be on my mind) but that will be a new experience, a new infinity.

Yes, I know all too well of my finite existence, (that’s another story) but I want to fill it with everything, many full, rich experiences, as many bowls of pesto as possible. Living with that intention, I choose to prioritize the quality of my experiences toward depth rather than detail. I choose hugs and laughter over TV, gardening and petting the cats over driving far to go shopping, sharing a glass of wine with a friend over cleaning the house.

Aha, so now we get back to the dirt. Life is dirty. Life is messy. There is no utopia, even in Wales. But pesto is close to utopia. Or, the look in my cat’s eyes when he blinks kissingly at me. That’s a little moment of heaven. Or, getting a real, trusting hug from a dear friend. Priceless! What else do we need?

Who cares if people’s minds, attitudes, habits, words, even deeds, are a little dirty. Bring it on. Let’s mess up the kitchen, tell some filthy stories, go play in a mud puddle. Let’s take time to notice the details, even the dirt, and do it with an open heart, with the knowledge that life is sweet, like Basil, and that every little whiff of it is an amazing gift.

So, take what life gives you and make pesto. We’ll clean the kitchen tomorrow.

Glittering Commentari 16, Gay Species

Garnet David — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 02:15:03 +0000

Stephen of Gay Species left this intense comment on Bruce’s blog, Not So Different. The original post is about Bruce’s struggle with his gay identity. Though he is very “out” and supportes equal rights for all gays, he feels guilty for sometimes being uncomfortable with the radical social politics of overtly effeminate or butch leather gay culture. His questioning is gentle and open-minded.

The comment below makes a point I have touched on in early posts here on Glittering Muse, but which I didn’t want to push too far. I, like Bruce, want to support my own “culture”, yet can’t resist questioning the integrity of some of its more fringe elements. Like the commenter below, I want gay culture to “grow up” and evolve, both socially and spiritually.

I thought this was happening during the AIDS crisis in the 80′s and 90′s, but it has slipped back into many of the shallow habits of its wild past, but put it lightly. Dissenters within the community are often dismissed as conformist or exclusionary, putting them, like Bruce and I, between a rock and a hard place. In Stephen’s comment here, he unflinchingly drives the point home.

I get the “gay” obsession, the “identity” dissonance, the “hurt” and “wounded” psyche, the “fragmented” lives, the “rebel subversive” appeal, the “flesh peddlers,” the “drug-release of inhibitions,” and all the other cultural “gay” icons.

What I don’t get is why we put up with it. As an incorrigible pluralist, anything goes. Few things are off the realm of possibility (pedophilia, being one). If Foucault is your hero, so be it. If anonymous tricking tickles your fancy, it’s still available. But it all is hurting some of us in that place where “identity” and “queerness” are someone else’s battles. Even “queer” San Franciscans, perhaps indebted to their mentors’ jadedness, are figuring out that another f**ck won’t make them happy. But it never has. It’s just another form of obsessive-compulsiveness that has “been scripted” as our raison d’etre. Hot men are hot, but not a reason to scr*w everyone of them. For heaven’s sake, we are supposed to herald some pride, but a simple excursion to http://www.ohlalaparis.com/ parades eye candy as if was all meant for consumption. We buy the store lead-in, and then want a refund for its failure to “meet our expectations.”

It’s all a bit empty from my perspective. Yes, dropping acid, E, or who knows what, and dancing till morn was an extraordinary experience, one I thoroughly enjoyed repeating for a time. Using “meth” may find a new avenue no one would otherwise explore. But it was always a diversion, always a means to take the sting out of “hook-ups” that cared not a wit, nor we in return. I’d hoped that that phase was merely a passing one, one that would allow us to love openly and honestly and not betray our vulnerabilities.

But for god’s sake we’re humans. We may express our human love differently, but that should not make us less human. I’m giddy that some of our newbies aren’t so willing to compromise. After all the psychic damage, the aftermath of AIDS, some of our younger men realize that being human is all we have to offer. Their defiance against the “mantra” and emptiness is so extremely positive, so vulnerable, and so human, we may yet have made it worth while. Men loving men is truly extraordinary. It may mean we gay men finally have come of age. But the resistance is no less virulent (however emasculated). Our hopes may yet be dashed, but only because we surrendered.

Right after the above comment, this milder view of the same subject came from Bruce of Green Acres. I like his take on the subject very, very much. Thank you, Bruce.

Bruce, I’m reminding you and myself that living as openly gay men, in our own families with partners and other assorted mothers-in-law and what have you–some even with adopted children–we are to today what the drag queens were in the Stonewall days. There is no more strong statement you can make than to live your life openly with your partner, as you see fit… all the while making friendships with your straight neighbors as well.

I’m also reminded of lessons learned from the Culture of Black America, of which i am a part, having grown up in Atlanta. On rare occasions that I witnessed a black friend act white, i felt the same shame as when a nellie friend would butch it up, subverting who they are to please a complete stranger. For the most part, Black folks, as they say, know how to “keep it real,” something I appreciate more and more, the older I get.

We have to keep it real and just be ourselves without worrying what the damn Joneses think. More and more, I find the Joneses want to know more intimate details of my life together with Steven than I’m often willing to divulge.