The Sound of my Soul.

It’s perfect. The garden view outside the window of my computer desk is beautiful, stunning in its passing perfection. It will never be the same again. Does it ever need to be? I have seen it. Or have I?

The power of doubt can be misleading. It can loosen sanity, unhinge it. An overdose, of sorts, blinding the simple sight of the soul’s awareness of the world. We doubt in order to discern, question to learn. But as with any tool, improper use can be dangerous.
Back Garden from House
A garden is a symphony of textures, colors, scenes, structures, singing four movements continuously, an ever rich and complex variation on multiple themes, an interaction of style and chance. My intervention is a duet, rather than a composition.

The sound of my soul whirs as its engine pumps through me. Blood carries the air of breath to my flesh and bones. Sparks of electricity flash, giving light to gray lobes. The body is the turbine of the spirit, its instrument. It’s how the soul learns of its own existence, temporarily cleaved from the raw stuff of stars. It will never be the same. Yet it continues beyond, and also precedes, the corporeal self. It is never born and never dies. Loopy African Daisys

The spirit that doubts itself is troubled. Be gentle and know your rightful peace. No fairy tale book need be consulted to affirm its presence. The garden hums its tune, singing a healing hymn, if one is listening.
White Flower Scene
Know your rightful Peace.

Hear your conscience.

Listen to your soul’s music.

It will never be the same.

19 thoughts on “The Sound of my Soul.

  1. When somebody can see the same beauty in a used cigarette butt laying on the ground next to a filthy gutter as in this garden…that says a lot to me about that person.

    “It will never be the same again. Does it ever need to be? I have seen it.” – gives an impression of ego. “For as long as I have seen it” it can be done with.

    Reminds me that so many people think the world revolves around them… when in actuality, they are a part of the world’s revolution. It doesn’t revolve around them, It revolves them.

    Perhaps doubt arises from trying to define things as though they were solid and unmoving. But everything is in motion, our identities our changing every moment, the fact that one cant place their finger here and say this is me, I believe raises them to doubt. However, I feel it can be done. If we place our finger in the consistency of change itself. That is us and everything – revolving change.

  2. mainja- thank you. the plants do most of the work. 🙂

    Travis- Thank you for the criticism. Comparing the beauty of a cigarette butt to a garden is like saying rotten fish tastes as good as fresh. They are just as valid and real, but beauty as a subjective experience is completely valid.

    “I have seen it” reminds the reader that these words did not write themselves. The direct experience of the world is, again, an undeniable fact of existence. The world simply ceases to exist without you. That is not ego.

    Doubt arises when the natural self, the illusory self, the stairs to the higher “Self”, is denied. One must examine the self until it disappears.

    You make a good point about the consistency of change. But that in itself is an illusion, an observation. The garden is perfect. It will never be the same. But it will always be perfect.

    I bow to you for keeping me honest.

  3. “There is only one of us” some sage said. Therefore nothing revolves around me, unless I regress to a state of ego identification (our manifest form’s usual manner of being). “Revolving change” is another way to describe evolution. If the universe ceased to change, even for a moment, then existence would cease.
    Your garden is a thing of beauty as are your words. Not so sure about those cigarette butts though : )
    My wife and I are about to purchase a new home and the primary selling point was the beautiful landscaping and gardening skills of the current resident. We truly appreciate your skills, assuming you did the work yourself.

  4. I’m sure the expression of your garden’s beauty is beyond me through words direction. You having been part of the garden, grown with it, seen it, experienced it…know the beauty as you have become the beauty of the garden. However, my understanding that…I too have been affected by the garden now…through you, the garden, and its perfect changing movement. Thank you for making me a part of your garden. It is beautiful, yet ordinary. What I mean is, when one sees the natural beauty of all things, they are all ordinary in their unique beauties.

    In other thoughts,
    When we write… which words do not come from our ego?

  5. Ron- Nice addition to the comment conversation. Yes, change is permanent. The paradox of perception and/vs truth always stirs the pot.

    I did indeed do all the work/design myself, with lots of help from friends. Good luck in your new home.

  6. Travis- Yes, you now have seen the garden and have been affected by that glimpse from the state it was during the photo. And yes, all my words come from my specific perception and thoughts. Very good points.

    And your points about the permanence of change are good reminders to me. My “new” approach these days is to stay out of my own way and flow with change, be it, as inspired by the almost zen like wisdom of F. M. Alexander. My very strong tendency until recently is to attempt to answer all questions and analyze perceptions and mind. But that is like trying to eat the fork instead of the food. The “ego” is subtle and hides easily in most thoughts and words. Yet, as you pointed out, words are a valid part of who we are. Words are also a tool to learn how to free our minds.

    Have you read “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” by Shunryu Suzuki?

    I really enjoy your comments. Thank you for your thoughts, criticisms and perceptions. We think a lot a like. I always look forward to hearing from you.


  7. David! Whoa! “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” – is one of the first books I read on Zen, and remains my favorite. Amazing, you brought that book up. That is the book I recommend to those interested in learning more about zen.

    One question I like to raise on “words” is – How
    valuable are words without the spaces between them?

    By the way, if you haven’t noticed, I often have a socratic way of conversing, which not everyone is comfortable with. LOL. I don’t always raise a question in pursuit of an answer, but rather to make us think and reflect on it.

    Thank you for allowing me to participate here. I agree with you, I see alot of similarities between our ways of thinking. It’s a pleasure.

  8. Travis- Likewise a pleasure. I wonder what Socrates would have thought of Zen.

    Words without spaces between them? Sounds like TV.


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