“We can always be more, we just can’t be everything.”
Being ones “self” is such a slippery journey. I am often waylaid by my fears, doubts, incorrect self perceptions and presumptions, confusing feedback from a conformist society, and just plain laziness. It’s easier to just stay the path. Don’t rock your own boat, for goodness sake. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. We’re pulled in so many directions, by the expectations of our friends and family. And they each have their own blind spots, and so cannot be “objective”.
And trust is so fragile. How often have you thought you trusted someone and they disappoint you in the end. Especially when it’s family who betrays you.
I have been fairly lucky in having trustworthy family and friends. I consider myself trustworthy, but I’m sure I’ve disappointed those close to me. Perhaps some would consider that a sort of betrayal.
Last night I spent some quality time with Joe. We cuddled and talked, which is conducive to peeling away layers. I was as loquacious as ever, even more than usual. I talked and talked. He is able to follow and absorb a huge amount of information from me. How lucky I am to have such an ideal sounding board, an ultimate other. I was able to open up and voice things even I didn’t know I was thinking. Or, more clearly, I felt those things, but was barely aware of them without having articulated them.