Being Yourself

“We can always be more, we just can’t be everything.”
Spicey Cauldron

Being ones “self” is such a slippery journey. I am often waylaid by my fears, doubts, incorrect self perceptions and presumptions, confusing feedback from a conformist society, and just plain laziness. It’s easier to just stay the path. Don’t rock your own boat, for goodness sake. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. We’re pulled in so many directions, by the expectations of our friends and family. And they each have their own blind spots, and so cannot be “objective”.

And trust is so fragile. How often have you thought you trusted someone and they disappoint you in the end. Especially when it’s family who betrays you.

I have been fairly lucky in having trustworthy family and friends. I consider myself trustworthy, but I’m sure I’ve disappointed those close to me. Perhaps some would consider that a sort of betrayal.

Last night I spent some quality time with Joe. We cuddled and talked, which is conducive to peeling away layers. I was as loquacious as ever, even more than usual. I talked and talked. He is able to follow and absorb a huge amount of information from me. How lucky I am to have such an ideal sounding board, an ultimate other. I was able to open up and voice things even I didn’t know I was thinking. Or, more clearly, I felt those things, but was barely aware of them without having articulated them.

6 thoughts on “Being Yourself

  1. To trust or not to trust?

    Bitter experiences teach me to look before I leap. Should kick myself to pay attention more often.

    My family & close friends are testaments of faith, trust & undying love. For that I am forever grateful.

  2. Thank you for the comment, Manjusha. Trust is one of the most fragile things in the world. Once damaged, it often never heals. Even when I think I know myself, I it’s not always easy to accept it. That’s where trust of others is so important, whether it be family or friends. Most of us are more fragile then we think. If we think ourselves tough, we are probably shielding something.

  3. Wow. I’m quoted. And in such an insightful, interesting context. You write well, and you write honestly – two prerequisites for me in approaching any writer. Thanks for the linkage, and for your referencing. I appreciate it very much.

    Trust is indeed fragile, and family betrayals when they come, large or small, are always devastating; after all, we know that one day we will have only memories of those we love and we’d dearly like those memories to all be sweet, knowing that we will join others one day and knowing we haven’t always given others good memories – because we’re human, flawed, confused, dreaming and searching.

    Great post. x

  4. Being oneself, being true to oneself, knowing when to trust one’s perception of others. All of these came more easily for me when I stopped think of who I was and started thinking of who I wanted to be. Then I could look at that future me and say what would she do and why would she do it.

    Wow, It seams that in think though my answer to you, I’ve wriiten my next post for my blog. I hope you don’t mind. 🙂

    But as you are a muse, you cannot help but to inspire. thank you.


  5. Thank you, Liz. You’ve also got me thinking about Platonic ideals. Perhaps one can come up with a Platonic ideal for ones self. As you mention, you ask yourself what this ideal person would do, and head in that direction. I like that.

    Virtuous behavior is always something to strive for, but rarely ever finished.

    In my post I was also refering to the subtle and elusive perception of where I am now. Then I can see better where to go.

Comments are closed.