Faerie Spirit

This is the beginning of some ruminations on Faerie Spirit. I don’t feel like composing a finished article, so I’ll just throw out some ideas as they come. These generalizations and perceptions are my personal observations. Ongoing…and perhaps a bit rambling. I’ll also link to other writings on the subject as I find them.

Faerie spirit describes the unique healing attitudes and skills of many gay men. But most of them are unaware of their abilities as healers and seers. They are too caught up in the gay subculture, which mainly tries to fit in, or react to, straight society. Either way, much of gay culture is “dependent” on straight culture to survive. Gay culture struggles with all its energy against straight culture. It often has little of its own tradition or mythology to pass on. And so the spirit is wasted in the paradigm of ageism and sex culture. There’s no room for depth.

Don’t get me wrong. Gay culture has influenced straight culture plenty. The open appreciation of male beauty in every facet of culture is a gift of gay culture. Men are more aware of their beauty, which makes them, well, even more beautiful. Beauty is a feminine quality, and it’s healthy for American men to develop it. Gay culture has influenced most pop culture, and style culture. These are valid but limited contributions. Their real spirit is often repressed.

Most people have some healing abilities. Women (feminine, nurturing, opening) tend to have more healing talent than men. Men (masculine, building, entering) are generally about action, accomplishment, change. Everyone has a balance of Yin and Yang energy. Usually one is favored. Straight men are more masculine, but can have quite a bit of feminine. Straight women may have the opposite balance.

Gay men tend to have a more equal balance of these opposing/balancing energies. This gives them an ability to sense and express energy in ways not available to non gays. I see the two energies as two lenses, the masculine and the feminine, each with it’s own power, and those who have a balance see things in stereo. Or, they could be like two healing stones, which when rubbed together in one person, creates a warm healing energy by the friction.

I’m not saying every gay man is healing and every straight man is not. No, no, no. I’m just saying the ones who have that skill are barely acknowledged, where they should be raised to a position of influence and respect in our community. They are here to heal and should be encouraged.

But that’s not the case. After thirty, most gay men are barely noticed, unless they work their asses off to stay buff. They have to conform to the beauty culture to be respected. The real healers may not compete well in this brutal, judgemental culture. As they mature, they may be ignored, outcast. And their talent goes unused.

I remember one man who I met at a support group. I could see his psychic ability, but he barely functioned in the group, at least around me. I felt he thought I dismissed him, but I was just a bit thick skinned, the way I always am around other gay men, mostly to protect myself from their judgment. I’ll judge you before you judge me, that’s our motto. Not a happy culture. Gay, not happy, sexual, not loving, trendy, not healing. So he and I never connected. Too bad. And part of it was my lack of empathy. My defenses and his defenses.

What are these healing powers I keep referring to? Seers, touch healers, sex healers, mystics, anyone with a valid message to offer the rest of us, whether physical or emotional or political or cultural or spiritual. I’ll try to be more specific as I think of examples. (later)

I sense my un-developed ability. I can see into people, see their weakness, their wounds, and how to nurture them. But I have no training, no mentor, no path, to show me how to focus this crude ability. I know it’s there, but my ego, my fears, my conformity blocks me. Part of the reason for this blog is to explore some of this stuff, in myself and in others.

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4 thoughts on “Faerie Spirit

  1. I put this post in the Firefox scrapbook extension to ponder more.. but some quick thoughts that occurred to me when reading this for the first time was that I believe that you have hit on several things that are true… the largest obviously is the Faerie Spirit (several Native tribes recognized this in times past, though I don’t know about today)… but there are other thoughts that your post stirs.

    It is not just gay men who have a problem with ageism and being judged by appearances. As a society we seem to devalue everyone who doesn’t conform to the youthful ideal…. and we lose their talents and wisdom by doing so- and they lose some of their energy and will to utilize those talents if they are not stronger than the norm..

    there was so much more that was on my mind about this.. including my own angst when I look in the mirror at times.. I was never beautiful, but I think i was attractive.. the loss of the admiring gazes being automatically mine was unsettling at first even though I never wanted to be considered in that way over who I might be inside..

    I will be a bit shy (despite your wonderful candor) and wait for the rest of my thoughts to settle a bit..

    Good post, Garnet.. so much to think about.. so much unsaid..

  2. Fascinating post. “…those who have a balance see things in stereo…” That expression reached out and zapped me between my eyes- uh, all of them… I’ll be returning to read more of your thoughts on this discussion and its tangents.

  3. David dear: I thoroughly enjoy reading ALL your comments and thoughts and all the the great responses you seem to generate – keep up this great “time passing ” happy but don’t let it consume you from doing all those other wonderful talents you have (like your exceptional clarinet performing). I alsi enjoy reading the “performance glop” and also those rewarding responses. Love you — I lived with you your “forth of July” day and could even taste the pies!!!!!! Mom

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