During my childhood my family moved every two or three years to another city. My father worked for the US Foreign Service Diplomatic Corps, and we were transfered regularly. I learned not to put down deep roots.
As an adult, I wonder how much this affected me. In some ways, I’ve always been a loner. I’m a musician, and our best work is done alone in the practice room. I’ve never been a team player, but I think that’s just the way I am.
Where do the causes stop and the effects begin? Maybe my rootlessness gave me an advantage. Perhaps I was able to step outside of a situation and see that change is not so threatening. After all, my security was intact. I always had my family with me.
As I gracefully enter the prime of life at age 45, I begin to realize that my physical rootlessness may have laid the foundation for seeking deeper friendships. I am very faithful, and will exert great effort to keep in touch with long lost friends. Usually I’m the one who is let down. I am slow to form deep relationships, and I admit I have issues with intimacy. But once I decide there’s value in a person, they almost never get written off by me. Sometimes I even suffer from stress caused by “managing” too many friendships.
My life is entering a stage where my roots are beginning to deepen. I have been in the same house for 16 years, the longest time in one place. And I have remodeled the entire place to my liking. Yet if I had to move tomorrow, I think I would manage. I feel most at home when sharing the company of friends. That is the only home I need.